Currently at home with a flare up and I am aware that I haven’t posted in a while so I thought it would be beneficial to highlight some of the positives of living with this illness because quite often the negativity can weigh us down. In the time that I last posted, I have managed to conquer my university degree whilst I continued to battle ferociously with this illness known as endometriosis. Not only have I just completed my university degree but in July of this year, I had my 2nd laproskey operation for my endometriosis because during my final year of university, the hospital seemed to be my second home. Furthermore, since then I have managed to get a full-time job.
The reason I have decided to talk about completing university with this illness is because it’s not just my personal achievement; I want it to become other’s personal achievement too. When you have any chronic illness such as endometriosis, it’s such a challenge not to be defeated and just taking each day as it comes. One reason for this was because from one day to the next, I didn’t know how I was going to be. Some days I had to just drop everything and prioritise myself and my health. Some days I simply had to rest more than other days. Therefore, a positive skill acquired from my degree and this illness is that it has made me become more organised as I always had to start my work early to ensure it was of good quality and meet the deadlines. This positive attribute that my illness has given me at university has become something that I have adopted into my working and everyday life.
Another achievement this year is undertaking a full-time job working with young adults who have special educational needs. Some students have multiple and profound disabilities and others have autism. It’s so rewarding to work with the students and I adore being able to go to work everyday knowing i have made a difference to others lives who are less advantaged than us. I find that I can connect with the students because although my disability isn’t visible, I know how it feels to struggle and to be perceived as ‘different’ in society just because you can’t always do what others may be able to do. In an endometriosis scenario, it would be that we can’t always do what we want or be social because of the pain and exhaustion that the condition brings. Some students are non-verbal and I can understand their frustration when they are trying to tell us something but can’t because they are non-verbal and therefore we don’t always understand them. Although i can talk with this illness, not everybidy understands what it’s like to be in pain everyday. This can then lead to anxiety and depression. If anything difference should be celebrated because actually doesn’t matter whether you have a disability or not, we are all talented at something and unique in our own way! During my first full term of doing this job with my illness, if anything, I think I have become more caring because i know how it feels to suffer and fight through every day without having the social models of society taking away from the celebration of disability!
At this moment, the things I find difficult is being off work and not having people understand that I am not being lazy and I don’t enjoy being absent from work. It brings loneliness when I cannot get out so that’s why I try to reach out to people on social media because I want people to try and understand just what I am going through and may be even relate to me, i do not do this to grab attention. If anything at the moment, I am trying to raise more awareness of this illness. If i can achieve anything at the moment, it’s getting from my bed to the sofa and that is simply enough for now each day! I have to remind myself that I am doing what’s best for me and so far I have achieved more than I ever thought I would with this chronic illness!
Here is my mum and I at my graduation. I know I couldn’t have carried on without her so I am thankful!
I am now booked in to see an endometriosis specialist as the last 2 operations have been unsuccessful!
Anyway, keep going all of you and have a lovely Christmas x