Throughout this whole entire academic year, it has not been easy. Currently, just finishing year 2 of university and there have been many times when I thought I should just give up and let my endometriosis take control of my life. Here’s to the wonderful story which changed my life…
So we went back to university at the end of September, I was very low on energy all the time and no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t seem to get my head down and begin any essays. At the time, I just thought hey hum, I am probably like this just because we have had a long summer break and just not used to this workload after having a relaxing summer. During this time, I was getting really bad stomach pains and I couldn’t really understand why. Eventually, one day in October, the pains got so bad that I had to do something about it and take myself to A&E. Once I got to A&E, it was a bit of a waiting game but they did some tests on me and couldn’t find anything. Within half an hour, they told me they thought I had appendicitis and admitted me to hospital. Before I knew it, I was as high as a kite on morphine, didn’t really know what was happening.
The next day, all the doctors were still thinking that it was appendicitis except from one doctor who said he thought it was something else causing me all this pain. So then I had to go for scans and nothing showed on the scan. I went back to bed and within 10 minutes, a doctor came and spoke to me explaining that I was going to have to be put under anaesthetic to have a laproskey operation carried out to find out what was going on. I got told they wanted me down in the operating theatre as soon as and operations were being cancelled for me to have mine. As I was being told this, I felt my heart sink because I knew it was something serious as why would they want me down there so fast as this. There was no option but to have the operation done. I clutched my mum’s hand who was beside my bedside and prayed. Then headed down to theatre.
Once I came around from anaesthetic, I had never felt pain like it and was very confused. Doctors told my mum and dad that it was just some cysts I had and some that had burst which was causing me all the pain. I could not walk for days and was bedbound in hospital then eventually got dismissed. Never really thought much about it after that… until a couple weeks down the line, when the same thing happened again, same pains, same tiredness. So back down to A&E I went, where they explained to me that when they operated on me, they actually established I have a condition called ‘Endometriosis’ and its where the endometrium grows outside your womb so you get pain in different parts of the body. It gets worse when we have periods as we are internally bleeding and all those parts with endometriosis become inflamed and also bleed. Before I was diagnosed, I always had quite heavy and painful periods but just thought that was normal. On the first day its normal to get some pain but not deliberating pain throughout the whole thing. It feels like having 101 beestings and every time you move the pain just triples. 1 in 10 women have this awful disease. The hardest thing for me to comprehend was when the doctors told me how I may never be able to have children as I know how special children are and especially when you are carrying. Just to know I may never get that feeling, it hurts. Not only that, but being an only child and having to try and have my parents they may never have grandparents. I felt my heart break into a 101 pieces and felt so hopeless. But God is on that, its all in his hands!
Even though I was chronically ill, I still had to attempt to carry on with my university course. Everyday I have been in pain, no day has been easy. The goal to finish this academic year seemed so far away, even last week when I was having a bad endometriosis flare up, the goal seemed so far away to finishing. Every day I have been using 2 bible verses to get me through and these are:
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” – Matthew 11:28.
I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13
As of today though, I am relieved to say that I have just completed my 2nd of university, my essays are all complete and no extenuating circumstances have been applied for. My heart feels so overwhelmed with joy as I have achieved something I thought I wouldn’t. I never thought I’d still be at university but just taking one day at a time and following Jesus I am here. People have been so supportive which has helped also. I feel like a WINNER!!
A massive shout-out goes to my Grandma as she is my greatest inspiration as she has a lot of autoimmune diseases from a young age but yet has still carried on battling like a true soldier. I have never understood how she has coped but she has always told me that, “When strong is the only thing you can be then that’s all you can do in this life!”
That has always stuck by me and it reflects on how I keep going everyday!
Just remember that nothing is given to you that you can’t handle. And no goal is too far away, just breathe and embrace each goal! Keep going and keep strong!
Hope you enjoyed the read,